It has been awhile since I opened up on my blog about my life. Yeah, you would think that because it was my blog that I would open up more. Honestly, it is for me that I am writing it, however, it is difficult to write and then be open/accepting of the comments that come.
I made a difficult choice last month, actually, it has been a transition for me now for a few months. I have been working my butt off each evening teaching fitness classes. I *LOVE* teaching fitness classes. I find profound joy in helping others get their sweat on. It is even better when they come a few months later and tell me that I have helped them in shedding a few pounds. I am very passionate about teaching and I share that passion in each of my classes. I go hard and I leave everything at the class.
However, my love for teaching was having an effect in my home. One that I didn't realize for awhile. I have one of the most supportive, loving, caring husbands in this world. He has been the backbone of our home since I started teaching. Each new class I took, he would nod and say "go ahead, you can do it, I will be here with the kiddos." He has been the best. I have been teaching now for 3 years. 3 years this man has been taking care of the kiddos, feeding them, taking care of their after school activities, playing, ironing, and all that other stuff that comes with taking care of a home, all while I "played" away.
Last year, I saw that my little daughter wanted to spend time with me, but my answer was always "I can't right now. I gotta get ready to teach" or "I can't right now, I gotta memorize this new choreography" or "I can't right now, I gotta go to a meeting" or the very worst answer "I can't, Mommy is too tired". My kiddos were suffering without telling me a thing. One morning, I woke up and I realized that I had completely missed my son's 5th grade and my daughter's 2nd grade. It sucked and I felt like the worst mother on the planet. My awesome hubby, til this very day, has never complained about my teaching or my over scheduling myself. How crazy was I? Let's see, at one point, I was teaching 12 Zumba classes and 4 spin classes. Most of these classes were in the evening :/.
Now, it wasn't because of the gazillions dollars I was making. Every fitness instructor knows that our "career" is more of a "hobby" than anything else. So it wasn't financial gain that was keeping me at work. It was just my love for teaching fitness.
So the bottom line was: do I love teaching fitness classes or do I love my children. I love both. But I can tell you without a doubt that I definitely love my children more. So, something had to give, and I decided to stop teaching evening classes completely.
Not teaching evening class will be very difficult since most gyms, fitness institutions want/need evening instructors. Last month, I closed my evening classes and opened two morning ones that I can teach while my kids are at school. I don't know if my morning classes would be successful but I am going to give it a try.
One thing is for sure--I am not willing to miss out on any more days, weeks, months, years of being with my kiddos.
Now, I will crawl back into my shell...